K is for Keeping It Real - or - aka.... I'm not as self-disciplined as I thought I was!!

When New Year's Eve rolled around this year, I didn't really make any resolutions as most people do, but I told myself that I wanted to get more focused on my business and making it more successful. That was a huge priority for me! One of the ways I planned on accomplishing that little piece of business was to post two new beading tutorials a month in my Etsy store, Lady Abeada Designs

Damsel Flowers

The first two months of the new year, I did great and I was able to stick to the schedule I set for myself.  It seemed like a breeze, and I thought I wasn't going to have any difficulties whatsoever keeping up with my new regimen. In fact, I found myself wondering what the heck my problem had been and why I hadn't been doing this right along.  HAH!!

Then March came along and my schedule went all haywire. What happened? In a word, LIFE!! Isn't that always what happens when we make plans? Life makes plans of it's own and totally buggers up your best intentions and outcomes? ::sigh::

I told myself, that's OK, we all have little set backs and come April, I would get back in the saddle and get back on track!

Step Stones

Not so fast.... what happened this time? Ahh... it was that old pattern of mine that came back to me like a roaring freight train.... a little, self-defeating talk was all it took to derail me this time. I told myself things like; what does it matter if I don't stick to my schedule and get out two tutorials a month? I'd already blown it in March... so what did it matter if I blew it again this month?? Why do we do those little self sabotaging things to ourselves? I have no idea, except, that they are learned patterns we cultivate over time... and if they can be learned they certainly can be unlearned and replaced with better habits, right?? Well, that's what I want to believe, at any rate.

Let's just say that April was a month where I did a bit of flailing... lol,  I needed some direction badly, and direction, I got!! As most of you know, somewhere towards the end of April, Kelly Stevenson of Back2Beads asked me to join his design team, The Glam Squad, and I did! I am still so excited about that, I can't even begin to tell you how much!!

At the beginning of this journey, one of the things that continually flashed through my brain was that someone was going to be sending little ole' me beads to design with!!  Sounds pretty exciting and cool, right? It is... make no mistake about it, it is!! BUT... along with those beads comes a great responsibility to someone else. Someone else is trusting in and depending on you. In return for the beads and products, as a member of the Glam Squad, I create designs using those beads, that will, hopefully, help Kelly to promote his beads and products in a big way. Its a Quid Pro Quo situation!

Fairy Wings

I have never beta tested beads for anyone before or had the great privilege of someone sending their products to me to design with. I have to admit that after my feet touched back down to this earth, a bit of panic set in!! OK ... more than a bit... A LOT of PANIC set in. What if I wasn't able to come up with any decent designs? Or what if he didn't like my designs? lol... you can't begin to imagine all the different things I stressed over and the amount of pressure I put on myself!! Suddenly, all the confidence I thought I had in my work and skills seemed to completely evaporate! So... I panicked and freaked out for a few days, until I realized, that all I could do was give it my best shot and what ever happened, happened. That's all anyone can do. So I got busy and got myself to work!!

Turns out... having a responsibility to someone else is somewhat of a tonic and great motivator for me!! (Thank you, Kelly!) The first bead that Kelly sent to the Glam Squad was his Etched Drums , and I have to say, they were a bit of a challenge to work with. But once I figured out what they would and would not do... things went along a bit more smoothly for me, and I was able to come up with three different designs using the Etch Drums and complete the tutorials for all three designs, in a single month! Yes, you heard correctly! That has to be a record for me.... lol, so its not that I CANT do it...  I just require something to motivate me to do it, and apparently being able to eat isn't enough of a motivator, lol. It's kind of funny tho, because all of this time I have been laboring under the mistaken impression that when it comes to my beading,  I am "motivated" and entirely "self-disciplined"! Obviously, that's not the case at all or I would have been much more prolific long before this!! LOL

So what's the moral of this story? Its always good to do a bit of self introspection along the way! You may find that what you believe to be true about yourself, isn't at all! Plus, the discoveries you make  may lead you in a direction or to a truth about yourself that you hadn't even imagined!

What's up next? Etched Daggers!!  Stay tuned!!